“Father Forgive Me… “José Roldan, Jr. Coming Out Nuyorican-Bronx Style In a One-Man Show
By Tio Louie Louis E. Perego Moreno
It’s never easy coming out. Add to that the other layer of coming out to our Latino family. And it’s never easy coming out for the first time – especially on stage. Meet the playwright and actor of a one-man show, José Roldan, Jr., a Nuyorican from the South Bronx who bares his soul coming out, over and over again for the past ten years. Besides courage, the one recurring theme and lesson: vulnerability.
Tio Louie: What moved you to create this play?
José Roldan: I was going through a divorce with a heterosexual woman and I was wrestling with my homosexuality. I had already graduated when the college realized that I was missing three credits and could take a class in any discipline to meet the requirements. So I took a class at Lehman College on solo performance and the homework assignment was to write a paragraph every day, such as the best or worst day of my life. At the end of the course I had a 45-minute piece that I had to perform as a final assignment in front of the entire school’s student body and that’s when I came out of the closet in front of a broad audience. What better way to come out?
TL: The theme of your play is about a gay male. Previously, you worked with a heterosexual, non-Latino male director and now you are showcasing the play under the direction of a heterosexual, Latina director. How is it different?
Jose and his mother
JR: She is demanding that I come from a deeper place in regard to Latino roots for the multiple characters that range from an aunt, to my father and my sister, to my mom. What I love about Rosie Berrido that she brings to the table as a Latina, is her knowledge of the craft of acting mixed with her Latinaness and the sensibility of being a woman. There is no way as men – both the previous Director and myself – especially when it came to portraying my female family relatives, without drawing from the depth that comes with being those characters. She helps me make these characters pop. When I am working on it she will cite how these characters blend together. She doesn’t want to see “José,” she wants to see Titi Bruja (Auntie Witch), my sister and mom.
TL: Why is it important to tell this story?
JR: It’s important for me. After we did the first run at Lehman College as a class project and even though my instructor-Director felt that this was my ticket to Hollywood, I put the project away because I did not want to be pigeon-holed as a gay actor. So I went to try my luck in Hollywood. At that time there were a rash of teen suicides happening across the country. So I felt a pull in my heart that I had to work on telling this story and sharing so as to provide hope. The underlying message was that if I could get through it, so can you.
TL: How are we ever going to alter this mindset of homophobia in the Latino community?
JR: Honestly, I think it has to do with Latino men being very honest and giving them the platform to be honest and to talk about certain things and attractions that they may feel towards the same sex and that it doesn’t take away from their masculinity or who they are. We need more people – more Latinos to talk about their sexuality and be up front about it, like the Ricky Martin’s of this world.
TL: How does the South Bronx figure in your play and why is that important?
JR: That is where I was born and raised. I wanted to showcase the neighborhood and where I grew up. Yes, the South Bronx is a tough neighborhood, but there are gems and los of beauty in the South Bronx. I wanted to showcase that there are positive aspects to the South Bronx like an oyster when pressed releasing a pearl.
TL: You’ve traveled with this play to colleges, what was the reception and how was it different from a homegrown audience?
JR: College markets are special to me, because these kids are really receptive to what is happening on that stage and ask questions that most people are not conditioned to ask during a Q&A. Questions like, religious references, not waking up the following day and being ashamed of who I am. Questions such as, “I have a friend who’s gay and wants to know how do they come out, tell others and not experience negative repercussions?”
TL: When you performed this play in Chicago there were high school students in the audience. What was their reaction?
JR: They were completely silent. It was really, really weird at first. They did not know how to react. In my head as an actor, we are taught to be in the moment. I was like, “Are they listening? Are they asleep?” It wasn’t until the scene with my father when I came out of the closet that I heard sniffling in the audience. And I knew at that point that they were crying and it stemmed mostly from the males. I continued on with the show and from then on they responded to the funny parts, as well as others – they were engaged. During the Q&A section they started asking questions related to relationships with their parents, relationships in general and how to communicate with each other. That’s when I knew that the show had a bigger message than just LGBT. Then someone asked if I was into Puerto Ricans or Dominicans.
TL: How do you portray Nuyoricans in this play?
JR: The play is bilingual. I talk about being Latino and Puerto Rican and it takes place in the South Bronx. I don’t portray them as a stereotype. I take the stereotype and throw it in your face and then I show you the exact opposite of that stereotype by showing you how I turned out.
TL: If you were to give $0.10 worth of wisdom, what simple advice do you have for actors who are in a production that is autobiographical or one that strikes a very personal chord for them?
JR: Be as vulnerable as possible. That’s the beauty of being an artist to allow your audience to see in your soul.
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